Dusk
by I.E-A.J-E.R
Summary: This is my version of breaking dawn, my first fan-fiction. You follow Bella and Edward through they're journey, with a few chapters finding out what happened to Jake in between. Quite a bit different from the book!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first Fanfic... hope you enjoy. Thanks to my beta mrsbellaedwardswancullen shes amazing**

Charlie took it quite well, considering. After his jaw dropped slightly, tried to see the joke in my eyes, and realized there was none. He was very calm. He looked quite pained, but then nodded.

"Bells, well to be honest, I still think he's bad for you, after… well it doesn't matter. I know you're a sensible girl, but isn't this a bit rushed?" He said. "Well. I'm not overjoyed I have to say, but I will give you my blessing. I however have no control over what Renee says and you're telling her!" It was quite a long speech for Charlie and as he finished, drawing breath, I hugged him tightly, Edward standing awkwardly, well as awkwardly as a god could, in the doorway.

"Thanks Char-Dad!" I said still hugging him. I glanced at the beautiful boy standing in the corner, his butterscotch eyes following my movements through his bronze hair. That was him. My Fiancé, wow that's one of the words that will take some getting used to. I let go of Charlie and motioned Edward forwards. He was at my side in an instant, brushing his ice-cold fingers against the pulse in my wrist, before grasping my ring laden hand tightly. He nodded at Charlie

"I will look after her, I promise." He said and no one could doubt the sincerity in his words.

"Well, my future son-in-law," Charlie winced slightly at that. "You better look after her well. Congratulations on your engagement," another wince. Before slapping Edwards's rocklike shoulder blade and kissing my cheek. Then waving us away, telling us to phone Renee, "If we dared". One parent down, one to go.

"What was he really thinking" I murmured when we were safely up into my bedroom.

"That's not fit for you ears" he replied his cheeky grin dazzling me as he pulled me onto his lap on the bed.

"Don't do that" I said, gently slapping his beautiful, flawless face. He grabbed my hand, so quickly it took me a second to realize he had it. He brought it round to his mouth kissing the ring lovingly before moving down and round feeling my racing pulse beneath his lips.

"Breath Bella", he whispered and it was only then that I'd realized that I'd been holding my breath.

"Sorry, forgot." I muttered my face reddening as his lips moved up my arm, slowly, gently, kissing. Oh right breathe. Whoops. His chuckle reverberated through me and I shivered.

"Am I scaring you?" he asked, moving his lips to my neck and hesitating, waiting for my reply

"No." I gasped. I could see his shoulders shake slightly with laughter before moving his lips over my throat then to my already puckered lips.

"Ready for Renee yet love?" he murmured against my lips, before moving away, a mobile appearing, seemingly out of nowhere. I swallowed.

"I wish you could read thoughts over the phone." I said as I bit my lip and dialed the number.

Half an hour later we were back in our clearing, sitting together our shoulders merging my paleness and his diamond like skin together.

"It could have gone worse" he said softly

"True" I sighed.

"She was just, taken by surprise…"

"I know it's just… I didn't expect her complete blessing, but to be honest. I would have liked it."

"She'll be fine" he put his arm gently round my waist

"Yeah she wasn't too bad and she's not completely against it, but I think she just thinks I'm going far too fast, but at least she's coming to the wedding and I _think_ she's happy for me" snuggling up to his glacier of a chest.

The conversation stopped. I Looked forward staring into the for once almost clear sky having the sun warm my face, the man I loved sitting as close to me as possible, his face turned sideways looking at me in curiosity.

"What are you thinking?" he asked his cool breath tickling my earlobe. I raised my hand letting the diamonds on my ring sparkle; it was beautiful, but not as beautiful as Edward. Nothing compared to him.

"I just can't believe it. I'm marrying _you_. It's taking a while to sink in I think."

"Silly Bella," sliding my hair back from my face, playing with it. "You don't see yourself clearly at all you are the most beautiful, wonderful person I have ever in my entire existence have I met someone like you" I turned my head pressing my lips against his.

"I love you," I said pulling away, before being taken up into his arms, his hand entangling in my hair as he stroked my back and pressed his stone lips against mine.

"I love you more," he whispered pulling only the slightest bit away before pulling me close again before I had time to reply, so I opened my mouth my tongue slipping between his teeth. He turned to stone and I sighed. Too far, I moved back, his arms relaxing to his sides, head bowed.

"I'm so sorry, I got a bit carried away" I said biting my bottom lip

"Give me a minute," His lips barely moving. Then he sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Godammit. You should be able to get carried away. I just. I'm the one that should be sorry it's not your fault you have a, a monster for a fiancé!" His head was in his hands and as he moved his hands away his face was pleading, as if he needed my forgiveness. I walked over to him hesitantly hugging him, kissing his cheek gently. He held me for a second, before swinging me up onto his back.

"You've told your parents," he said lightly. "Now it's time to tell mine." He took off running the trees flying inches from my face as we raced through the forest.

**A/N:Hope you enjoyed nest chapter soon.. Reviews please**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: My version of breaking dawn. Again thansk to my awesome Beta!**

The news went far better with the Cullen's and Hale's than with my parents Alice was waiting, door opened looking like all her Christmases had come at once.

"Happy engagement!" she said as soon as we'd come within my hearing distance. And as Edward let me down Alice threw her tiny arms around my neck planting a kiss just below my cheek bone. "And hello future sister-in-law!"

Then Edward leaned down whispering barely audibly "The rest don't know yet, but if we wait any longer I'm sure Alice will be shouting it from the rooftops" pushing my gently into the house, smiling broadly.

"Carlisle, Jasper, Esme, Rose, Emmet. I have some news." He said the level I'd use in normal conversation. They appeared out of nowhere, Emmet and Rosalie arriving last, Rosalie was just wearing a large shirt and Emmet in a loose pair of jeans, both looking rather happy, with Rosalie's hair unusually scruffy. My face reddened in embarrassment, but no one else seemed to notice.

"Bella and myself are getting Married" he said and you could hear the huge grin in his voice. Emmet moved forwards smacking Edward's back with a deafening crack, before hugging me and kissing my cheek. The next 10 minutes were a blur of hugs, congratulations and sadly, wedding plans, before Edward motioned our escape, holding my hand up the stairs and until we were safely tucked away in his bedroom.

"I think I preferred Charlie's reaction," I said slightly shaken. He smiled and pulled me gently down onto the sofa.

"Enthusiastic aren't they?" he said laughingly. "I hope you don't mind living with these weirdos then." And then a sweet, little voice yelled through the door

"I heard that Edward. Besides, she'll love living with us. I've seen it. Bella, come to my room we're sorting out wedding plans!" I groaned. However much I loved Alice, wedding plans were the last thing on my mind. "I heard that too Bella" I looked at Edward and he shrugged running his lips against mine before steering me toward the door into Alice's welcoming arms.

Several hours later, I was lying in my bed, cold arms wrapped around my waist, a slight humming in my ears.

"That was…quite scary," I said quietly. He chuckled.

"Don't worry; you'll only have to put up with it every time you see her until after the honeymoon." He said mock seriously. I poked his stomach, lightly so I didn't hurt my fingers.

"Don't remind me, please." I said and I heard his low chuckle.

"Not having second thoughts are we love?" holding me tighter, kissing my neck.

"Of course not!" I said a little too loudly, I realized as he put his fingers to my lips. I kissed them gently moving down in-between them and down his palm and he pulled me closer, so there was no space between us his cool breath tickling my neck. I tried to turn, and realizing what I wanted, released his grip just enough for me to. I didn't kiss his lips, burying my face in his neck sucking gently on his rocky skin, his arms caressing the bottom of my back. I moved down further to the collar of his t-shirt, pulling it away slightly to kiss his collarbone he laid back so he was laying flat on the bed I ran my fingers up his shirt, maybe, we didn't need to wait till the honeymoon, I thought. He let me pull it over his head feeling his sculpted chest muscles beneath my fingers, my lips, my palms. I moved my hands to my own shirt taking it off. He gasped in surprise and I quickly moved down to his trousers and just as I'd got to the button his hands flew out catching my hands.

"No. Bella." He said his voice almost breaking. I looked up innocently, pulling myself up more, he stared. His lips made a "no", but the sound didn't quite come out. I moved slightly up, my breasts falling inches from his chest, my hands moving around his stomach, caressing. "Bella. We can't. Please." The desperation in his voice made me stop I lay back on the bed. Grabbing my shirt and pulling it on. "I'm so sorry Bella. I just I haven't hunted in a while and I just wouldn't be able to, I'm sorry."

"It's ok" I sighed

"Do you want me to go?"

"No! I just got carried away in the moment again. I'm sorry." I said, rolling over. He moved into my back and kissed the back of my arm to say sorry. I lay there next to him, feeling frustrated, but tired and I gently drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi this is just to say that I would appreciate some feedback on my writing :) and I hope your enjoying so far, wrote these three chapters before publishing to make sure I could keep the story going so might be a while before the next chapters come out. ANY feedback good or bad would be fantastic. thanks x**

I woke up and felt no cool arms around me, I turned quickly and saw his eyes, beautiful golden eyes, and my lips formed a tiny "oh". He took my breath away even after a few hours. He looked questioningly.

"Sorry I thought you'd gone."

"I'm not leaving unless you want me to"

"I never want you to leave" I smiled. "Has Charlie gone?"

"Two hours ago, it's eleven" I groaned and almost in synchrony my stomach rumbled. "Time for breakfast I think," he said

"You better be talking about me 'cause I'm starved" I swung myself off the bed and made my way downstairs. Somehow he beat me there, standing in front of his hair ruffled, shirt thrown carelessly over his shoulder, then I realized he was holding a bowl and milk, box of cereal tucked under his arm.

"Disgusting balls of wheat, covered in milk, in a bowl?" He inquired.

"Mmmm tasty… give." I said reaching for the bowl in his hand. He lifted it up out of my reach and I jumped up to get it, tripping over my own feet and falling into him. He caught me in his other arm, making sure I was alright before he burst into laughter.

"Only you. Now sit and I'll serve it for you." He said nodding his head toward the table. I pulled my chair out quickly, and it fell backwards, the deafening crack as it hit the tiles resonating round the room. My face reddened, and his shoulders shook with barely contained laughter.

"Not my best day," I muttered, picking up the chair and sliding onto it as my bowl and cereal appeared, as if by magic in front of me.

"Breakfast is served, my dearest fiancée." He said, as I dug in.

"What we doing, today?" I said between mouthfuls.

"Whatever you want, Oh but Alice called while you were asleep she has more ideas." I groaned.

"If I go and make all the arrangements possible, will she quiet down?"

"I'm sorry have you met Alice?" He said smiling. "She'll think of more things all the time, and then need your opinion, and you'll spend the next however long sat in her room as she decides what your hair will look like on the day." I groaned again.

"Somehow a Vegas wedding doesn't sound too bad anymore."

"I'll get my keys" His voice deadly serious. I laughed and settled down to finish my breakfast.

A few minutes later I was in my truck, him in the passenger's seat, moaning as per usual about the slowness of my truck. As we reached his house I saw Alice waiting at the front gate, a huge file in her hand.

"Bella! Great I thought you were never going to come! I have found the perfect dress for you!"

"Great." I said trying to sound enthusiastic as I was led up into the house, up the stairs into Alice's huge room, where I spent the rest of the day with Alice talking about her ideas. I nodded in all the right places and let my mind wander to what Jake was doing right now, and wondering what his reaction would be to my news. I missed him and wished I could have made him happy somehow. I think I'd go and speak to Seth, he must still be able to hear him; and I'd like to know how he was doing. I'll do it tomorrow. Edward would be hunting, and I hoped Alice wouldn't tell. I turned my mind back to Alice, letting her inform me of more details, the wedding was going to be soon, it would be less dangerous for me and I don't think Alice would have managed to keep this up for months, well I don't think I'd would have managed to put up with this for months.

"Two months to plan all this! I'm going to be rushed off my feet!" I smiled. I wasn't going to enjoy it, but I was so glad for Alice, it meant I didn't even have to think about it. Just one day of embarrassment and I would be with him forever, my beautiful, and wonderful husband-to-be. The rest of the day passed in blur of looking at pictures, listening to Alice and looking at which flowers would look nice where in a bouquet.

Edward knocked gently on the door and Alice quickly moved to hide the dress in the closest before rushing back in a blur to open the door. He was standing there his eyes pure gold instead of the darkened eyes from this morning. A slight tint of blood was at his lips I felt a bit queasy when the iron rusty smell penetrated my nostrils. I stared at the spot for a second and as he got it wiped it away swiftly looking a little awkward. As soon as the smell was gone I bounded over him, being careful not to trip. I hugged him tightly being away from him made me anxious even after all this time. Gently bring my lips up to his making sure he was ok. He kissed me back fiercely his arms wrapping round me, making the rest of the world cut off from around me. I gripped my arms around his neck, remember control my urges. He didn't push me away and pushed my mouth open with his and then moving around mine, rock-solid and unyielding. I ran my fingers up his spine as his arms moved down to my bum caressing it through the jeans. Time seemed to stand still I could be caught in that kiss for years as he moved his hands up and down, my hips, my back, my bum , my legs. His lips pressed against mine, my hands were almost still now and he whispered against my lips.

"Breath"

"I know" I whispered back trying to suck in any air I could before my body gave into his touch again. He pulled away quietly and looked apologetically at Alice standing in the corner, tiny arms crossed over her chest. I turned round keeping his body as close to mine as possible

"Sorry Alice."

"It's fine," she smiled. "You don't need to see the future to see that your honeymoons going to be… exciting, but I do that too... so… well your going to have a very, very enthralling honeymoon." She had her eyebrows raised as she shooed us from the room meeting Jasper at the door.

**A/N:Enjoy?**

**R&R people!**


	4. Jacob

**A/N:Heres a bit in Jake's POV**

His eyes shone like stars in the darkness of the forest, a snarl curled at his lips and I felt like a thousand eyes were watching me. I crouched on all fours towering over him slightly, ready to spring. He circled me eyes always following each others movements as we stepped almost in unison round the clearing. I leapt, diving for his throat as he came up to meet me snapping at my stomach as my legs curled over to protect it. We fell to the floor and retreated backwards, recovering our breath. He lunged, catching me off guard and tearing my shoulder, blood ran in rivulets through my fur and I bounded forward pain arching through my whole leg. But I dived underneath as he tried to catch my neck in his powerful jaws and I tore my teeth through his chest. He whined. I expected his pack brother to come and protect him, as mine would have preparing from attacks at all side. None came.

He lunged again ignoring the liquid, shimmering like rubies across his torso I met him mid lunge and found a hold on his throat. I dug my teeth in, my mouth filling with blood, this wasn't the first animal I'd killed, but it definitely was the first one that had put up a fight and I was loathed to kill it. I closed my amber eyes and ripped, the blood spurted onto my muzzle and onto the grass beneath me. He fell limply to the floor and I let go off his throat in disgust. Deep shapes emerged from the shadows surrounding me; they crept along the floor coming to surround me. A wolf stepped forward from the rest of the crowd crouching down in front of me head bowed, they then lifted their head up, licking my shoulder, then my muzzle. Whoever it was reached up and made eye contact, only for a second and in that second my legs gave way, my heart stopped, all my dreams seemed to come true at once, in those eyes I saw fireworks, I felt butterflies in my stomach and after that second, for one dazzling minute all I could see was those piercing amber eyes.

When I readjusted my thoughts I saw 16 wolves right in front of me, in the same way that on occasion we did to Sam to get our instructions. Then I saw my beauty, the light of my life I walked over to her and she licked my muzzle gently. Was this imprinting? If so my pack had not thought all these wonderful feelings as it didn't look this god in their heads, I had missed out for years, the love for my best friend was nothing compared to this, I was sure I had loved Bella, but when I looked into these entrancing wolfs eyes, I knew that my love for her meant nothing compared to this, I buried my head in her chest inhaling her scent, it smelt of the forest and blood, my blood and my opponents I licked around her muzzle, getting any blood off I had passed to her. She wagged her huge bushy grey tail, a big wolfy grin spreading over her lips.

When I looked around, tearing my eyes away from her, I realized that instead of opposing me, they were now _my _pack. The responsibility weighed down on my shoulders, and their gestures made no sense, but I had my love, my one and only. I remembered Bella, I missed her hugely, but she had Edward. The thought of them together sent a shiver down my spine, so I cuddled up to her, with my good shoulder. The pull of changing came up on me for a second, but I pushed it away, I hadn't changed in a week and I would need to soon. I'll be back soon I tried to get across to her. And eventually she got it, and told the rest of the pack. They lay down, all curled up together, a male laid his for paw on my love and I tensed, but I had to get away, I had to change. I got far enough away so I couldn't hear them, and a bit further, before preparing my body for my explosion into human form. I felt my skin rip, my fur falling, my jaw breaking, my legs growing and my ears shrinking and changing. It only lasted a second, but that second was pure agony and as I stay there for a minute, my body was aching from the effort, before sitting down, my naked body being tickled by the grass. It was such a free feeling and I sat there waiting for the tingling to start again, bringing me back to wolf form. It came later than I'd hoped and my change back was more painful, bones shattering and then being remolded is painful, however short it lasts. I ran back to join my beauty and my pack.

I was too far for Sam and the others to hear me and that I was glad. I know I would need to go back eventually, I had left with almost no warning and there was too many loose ends to count, but curled up with the wolf I loved all my troubles disintegrated as useless technicalities. She was mine and I was hers, and that was all that mattered.

**A/N:Jake has imprinted on an actual wolf here just to clear it all up!**

**R&R thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry my writing might be a bit erratic for a while... this is Chapter 5:) hope you enjoy **

One month had passed slowly, my days being filled with wedding plans and such like. Today I was escaping from the extreme planner of Alice Cullen, to a more human friend. I Drove over to her house my car trundling along, engine roaring, I got to her gates and knocked on her door. The quiet and docile Angela Weber greeted my with a slight hug and beckoning me in.

"Married to Edward Cullen," She said shaking her head slightly in admiration. "Wow, I bet Jess is as jealous as anything."

"Yeah, but I haven't seen her in all honesty, I don't even really see Mike any more either."

"Why I thought you worked at his mum's shop"

"I quit a while back, but I think Mikes already left now." The conversation progressed little; we caught up on everything necessary and settled down to watch the film, it was an old one, and not very good leaving us to talk or think or absent mindedly watch the bad actors wander around the screen, with stupid lines and bad filming, catching many in bad lights, making them look particularly chubby or small at times. She apologized for the film laughing about how she had pretty much chosen a film off random from the shelves as she was running late, before tilting her legs up onto the sofa and resting her arm on the rest. We didn't talk much, only when we had something interesting to share and I felt a pang of sadness in my gut as I realized that soon, I would never be able to enjoy the silences of Angela or the joy of human company for a long time, until I was fully in control of myself. I wasn't dying, was I right to put the Cullen's, my loves family and my closest friends, through being isolated for a year or more while I recovered from being bitten so I would live with Edward forever. Then another niggling thought caught in my mind, what happens if he grew tired of me, I know he loves me and I think he always will, but isn't there a chance that after a century of being together, we would grow apart. No that was stupid he loved me and would always love me, maybe not the way I loved him, but something close. It was fine, I was worrying about nothing.

The film ended, and she made some coffee passing it back as we sat in almost silence, only saying what was needed, it was not awkward. I liked being with her, and although she had not left yet, she would be soon and after that, even I could control my urges I would be so different, so beautiful, so graceful that I would not be able to see her ever again. It was hard to think of this and as she started talking plans for the future, telling me that she was coming back to Faukes in the summer and if I was back from my travels, which is where I said I was spending a gap year before going to University, meaning that we could stay here until the wedding, letting me spend that last few months with my family and friends, although many of them were leaving soon. I would miss them, not nearly as much as I missed Jake, but still quite a lot. My mind turned to Jake. I wondered what he was doing and how he was. I wondered if he would ever forgive me or Edward for what was going to happen.

I looked over at Angela and she was looking expectantly at me.

"Oh sorry I was on another planet, what?" She laughed and repeated what she'd said.

"Where are you traveling?"

"Oh I don't know, it's a surprise for both me and Edward. Esme and Alice arranged it all, I swear I have no say in my own wedding, or honeymoon!" She laughed again.

"Well I bet you it's somewhere beautiful. You're so lucky, you two are so right for each other, congratulations, you've found you're true love so early in life, for both of you!"

"It feels like I've known him forever, I love him with all my heart"

"You're eyes light up when you talk about him." She teased gently and my face went pink. "Don't be embarrassed about it! You're so perfect for each other!

"Thanks Angela" I said the smile touching my eyes. An urgent rap at the door made me jump and I waited on the sofa as she got up to open it.

I heard a familiar voice in the doorway and got up in wonder. Why was he here? What was wrong? I walked out into the hall and a beautiful boy, his white skin glittering only slightly as shafts of sunlight escaped through the clouds. His hands were firmly in his pockets, clenching into fists beneath his jeans. His muscles in his face and neck were slightly strained. As soon as he saw me he rushed over in a slightly inhuman movement, kissing my cheek and then lips, before whispering in my ear.

"We have to go now!" His voice urgent muscles straining as he glanced behind me. I nodded, not knowing what was going on but, saying a quick goodbye and sorry to Angela let him lead me out of the house into the red convertible. Why did we have Rosalie's car? What was going on?


	6. Chapter 6 Jacob

_You coming?_

_Of course._

A slight yip from behind me egged me forwards following the Aroma of my one and only. I circled the clearing surrounding the deer heard on one side, being careful to stay downwind and out of sight. I felt the small white wolf to the left of me creep forward and the large she-wolf on my right do the same, mimicking they're movements with my own. I saw a black muzzle stick out into the clearing and tensed my legs, ready to spring forward on his lead. As he did all 5 of us followed him, closing in and preparing for the chase. He ran. We ran. The feeling was exhilarating the wind flying through my fur, pushing it back, and my lips pulled back slightly, my tongue catching moisture in the air as we raced the weakest deer through the dense trees that loomed over us.

I saw a grey shape lung forward ahead of me, snapping her powerful jaws and grabbing the skin around the lame doe's neck, holding on by her teeth, trying to get a better hold. I leapt after her ripping the tendon and sinew in the doe's thigh, it slowed to a walk and a black shape came forward, ripping the throat, letting the blood pour onto him. The grey-black wolf with the white hind quarter came forward, licking the blood off, before they all moved away, the alpha always ate first, I'd found lots of weird things like that whilst living with these wolves. I dug my teeth in ripping through fat and muscle, chewing the raw meat in delight. Nothing better than eating something you'd hunted. After I was full I motioned them forwards.

_Finished._

_Great I'm starved. Ow! Don't nip!_

_Shouldn't be rude then._

_I could take you._

_Yeah right._

Wolf talk was getting easier for me to understand and it was getting easier to interpret even the slightest movement in the ears or eyes meaning that as long as I was paying attention then I could understand what they were communicating to each other and communicate back the basics when needed. As I watched them eat I realized that the rest of the pack needed to come, running back through the forest following my own scent and that of my companions, I raced forward ducking round the trees that seemed to be flying at me, rather than the other way round.

I brought them back to where the deer laid the ribs on one side licked clean by the hunting party; between us we turned it over and let the others feast. The small wolves bantered gently with the party, wondering when they were allowed to hunt, but most avoided me. I felt a warm lump beside me as the most beautiful creature in the world rubbed up next to me nuzzling and licking any blood trapped in my deep red fur, before working around my muzzle, once finished I licked all the blood off her and we lay down gently curled up together, it really felt like home here. I howled softly and the others burst into song with me, pouring their heart and soul into they're song. I wove my sorrow for lost friends with my elation of my new partner and gladness for the hunt into mine as we howled gently together filling the night air and as I looked up, seeing the stars above me the moon shining bright, the closest thing I had had for a light in the darkness for over a month, I think, A month had gone already, it had felt like no time at all. I had truly found my place if Bella was going to have Edward forever, only the slightest niggling of my wolf instinct to hate vampires made my stomach turn, I would not complain. Though I knew I couldn't stay here forever, not without telling Billy at least where I was, I would have to go further toward Faukes and tell Sam while he was in wolf form where I was at what I was doing.

Burying my troubles and the urge tickling at my skin to change I stopped my howl, the beautiful chorus of voices dying off slowly. The white young wolf we had gone hunting with rose up, first onto his haunches, pushing his whole back up, the muscles clicking down his spine, before he rose completely, yawned and then lay back down, satisfied. It was so different from my old life, so less complicated. I dreaded having to even go into hearing range but I knew I had to one day. I nuzzled into the grey fur of my one and only and rested my eyes, never sleeping properly having got into this habit quickly from the months of hunting Victoria. That name sent an involuntary shiver down my spine; she had almost killed Seth and Bella. I swallowed. I had left them, everyone that had ever loved me with barely a moments notice. They didn't even know if I was alive, what happens if Billy thinks I'm dead? Or if Bella thinks I'm dead? My body prickled, the worry spurring the feeling I dreaded flowing through my body, the fur seemed to come away from my flesh, may Jaw shimmering slightly. No I must control it. I tensed and felt her tense next to me looking at me in slight shock.

_Whats up?_

_Nothing, I'm fine._

_Yeah right._

_I love you._

_I love you too._

I got up t move away, the feeling stronger in my bones, clicking as I got up to move away from them all. She got up to follow me.

_Go Back._

She kept walking with me, her body tensing for another rebuke_._

_I'm fine, go back._

I tried to remember the word for alone, if there was one they had not taught it me, I cursed myself, my ancestors and those bloodsuckers. For making me this way, why couldn't I just be wolf? Or human? Not an impossible median. My body screamed it was impossible each time I changed back and forth, often leaving me feel like I needed to lie down for half an hour, but in the pack none of the other shared those feelings, though I guess their mind was always hazy after first changing, or maybe I was the only one. I hid it at the back of my thoughts so none of the werewolves could see it, but now it was so nice to have the thoughts to myself even in wolf form. I sniffed the air, she was still following me. I realized I couldn't keep my secret a secret any longer. I turned back and her tail stood up on end, waiting for a fight, but hoping she wouldn't get one. I walked to her side, nuzzling against her shoulder blade.

_Do you trust me?_

_Of course._

_Can I show you something private?_

_Yes. Please do._

I kept on walking nuzzling her, telling her I loved her. When I could no longer hear any of the pack and walked a bit further I stopped, nudging her slightly away I said sorry with my eyes and let the feeling come over me, my muscles contracting and breaking skin, my skin shimmering and pain arching through my body, my bones cracking and breaking, then being remolded in an instant, 6 weeks of healing done in less than a second, the outside world meant nothing to me the trees were a blur and the wolf standing in the corner, that I knew was there, I could almost sense her, she was the only thing clear to me in my mind, that little bit set aside just for her. I focused on her thinking where her body would be, the way here eyes glinted in the sun, he thick coat that my muzzle could get lost in, her slightly meaty breath the change finished and I seemed in less pain. I was human, on all fours, looking into a stunned wolfs eyes. I said sorry with my eyes, and then out loud, though she wouldn't understand. She looked shocked, and hurt, and then she gave a slight whimper and reached out to lick my hand affectionately she stood on her haunches, falling down to her feet, motioning that she wanted me back I guessed. I shook my head, stroking her fur, before kneeling down and pressing my face in her neck, just like I did in wolf form, she recoiled only slightly, tensing the tendons in her neck before letting them relax. She seemed half comfortable with it.

As we lay on the grass half an hour later, I felt the tingle rippling through me again… I got up slightly, letting her head slide off my chest. She looked startled and stood up straight, arching her back, and backing away slightly as she guessed what I was doing. I turned slightly so she was in my sight, but she couldn't see my face properly, crouching on all forms the pain rushed over m, but I kept her image clear in my head and the pain deceased slightly and when I was wolf again, she pranced over to me, her paws making no sound on the ground, nuzzling my neck.

_Glad you're back._

_So am I._

_Lets go._

_Race you._

We raced through the forest, following our own scents back to our pack. They all greeted us with glee, and after a furious game of tag we settled down for a while, all huddled up together for warmth, my love still curled up next to me even though she knew. I was ecstatic, words couldn't describe it.


End file.
